Self investment

I am creating a space and making the time to write about how I choose to love myself now. I am the conscious creator of my own life. I am responsible for my happiness. I choose to treat myself kindly and with respect. I choose to focus on what I can do now. With this writing I aspire to deepen the relationship I have with myself. And for that it takes time and commitment to listen to what I need and desire. Here I will explore the questions of what does it mean to love, respect, cherish and value myself.

Despite how I am feeling I can choose actions that will improve my mood. When I choose to dwell on the positive and what I appreciate I will thrive. Positive thoughts leads to positive moods and actions. It creates a kind of contagious energy. What I put out there I will get back. I can think about my strengths and accomplishments. I can celebrate and enjoy who I am. It is my job to make it happen I am responsible to create a bright future and a meaningful and loving present.

In every moment I have the freedom to choose. I can start from now on. It is important to do this work. Today I was feeling low when I tuned in and listen to what I was telling myself about my body I was feeling worse. So I took action.

I started writing down those negative thoughts of mine down and told myself I need some help and contacted a counsellor. I dressed up today despite my thoughts and feelings about my body image I took some pictures of myself so naturally I started to smile and worked on find something I like about me physically all these actions I started feeling a shift. I started telling myself I choose to love myself now and so I started to write it down then I thought YES! This is what I need loving words and encouragement from myself. It is a love language after all. I can practice this. I can crowd out my negative thinking with positive thinking. I am a creative person I like to write I want to love myself now. And so why not? I write and keep a journal but a blog with a theme my writing will be much more focused and dedicated to the cause. With mindful action I can make this happen.

I am reading a book called : “Mind Over Mood” and while I have heard some of the ideas before it clicked for me this time that my thoughts inner dialogue can affect how I feel. I am happy that I made the connection I feel good things will come from this.

What I search for I will find. I have proven this to myself time and again. My goal is positive self image that is rock solid. With this writing I will create a refuge where I can boost myself up when I am feeling now. Where I can reflect on what is working. Where I can see how far I have come. Where I can delight in my own self discovery.

Repeating things over and over helps get the message in. I recently completed an assertiveness course and I kept a journal about it and I liked how focus I was on myself. And I found it helpful, it was brought to my attention that my self image/esteem can be improved as well as my self talk. I choose to believe that if I do the work I will get the results. Assertiveness is tied to self worth and I was told to affirm that I have worth and value that I like myself. Well I decided to prove it to myself; that is to make choices that reflect that belief. Thus I will ask fro what I want I will state what I prefer and what I would like to see so I am more likely to get it because I deserve to make myself happy and I am responsible and have the right to do things that I will benefit me.

Small actions add up, I decided to buy little heart shaped sun glasses I thought they where cute and they remind me to love what I see. People seem to love them too and it has been fun connecting with people over such a little thing.

Summer is about to start, and I am moving into a beautiful apartment a new space to myself. I have learned though practising and reading about meditation and mindfulness that creating space is wonderful. Even when I travel I notice how the environment inspires feeling. Same with headspace. I am clean up the clutter and intentionally decorating with things/thoughts that I enjoy.

What does respect look like?

Listening paying attention too

what does love look like

Doing things that benefit the beloved

“5 love languages

Quality Time together

Gift

Words of affirmation

Touch

Acts of service”

Love is an action

Bible says

“4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Wow

it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Really speaks to me right now. All that criticism and negative self talk that was a record of wrongs. I vow to stop that when I notice it. mmm I do not need to entertain thoughts of being angry and critical of myself no thank you

Now

Love does not dishonour others, love is not self-seeking,

when I translate this and apply it to myself I interpret it as saying I will respect myself and I will not take advantage and use myself.

Love does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

I take this part to mean I will be who I am without trying to be or want to be like another. I do not need to validate myself through others or say that I am better or worse at them.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

says to me that I do not need to cheat myself with avoided/addictive/base behaviors. I may feel I need to do bad things at the time but if I trust in myself and choose to look for the truth I can learn to trust myself, to keep myself in a place where I am more likely to succeed. I can hope for better things.

The truth is I am stronger then I think I am. I can harness my own power. There is a strength within a higher wisdom.

Thich nah han says to love oneself is to be aware that you have a body to treat it well.

-action rewatch and summerize my understanding of what he says

I am working on the belief that my body the sexiest outfit I own.

I find I like myself more when I exercise my body thankfully I love exercise.

I feel like the physical aspect of my body is wanting the most attention at recently

If I make Yoga and Mediation into a daily practice I believe that would be a way to pay attention to myself and just be. I have had that peaceful calm feeling before I can consciously cultivate it again and again. I like the floor in the hot yoga studio, I enjoyed my time there, I have the money to attend the class it would be a gift from me to me and I love investing in myself. It contributes to myself. Hot yoga in the summer is less expensive. I have a place to go to another phsycial refuge. Hot yoga in the summer might help me adjust to the heat, it might feel go to warm up after class is over and walk home in the heat. Swimming is something I like to do as well. The other option is to join a yoga studio that isn’t heated and use a blanket underneith. I choose to make a decision about this in the next day or two as it will feel much better to be on a path because then I am going forward instead of being stuck in-between.

Here I am ready for summer

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