What I appreciate
I always liked my creativity when I discribe myself it comes to mind rather quickly. I drew a lot when I was a child and was encouraged for it. I won a few contests in school 2nd place and in university I won 1st. I like making things. I feel free for the most part. Sometimes I feel frustrated because I want to express something but I am not sure how. I like most creative things like improv comedy, dancing, poetry. The idea of talent was very comforting to me it’s something innate that cannot be taken away that cannot be called wrong. Creativity leads to innovation which can really help people especially in terms of accessibility. I like drawing because it’s tangible ideas can be very fleeting and it is nice to see progress. I like the idea of originality of only I could make something like I can make it. It’s a kind of purpose like sure other people can make art and it can look similar to mine but I am really irreplaceable in terms of making my art because it is mine. I enjoy the surprise of what it looks like while I am making it. I enjoy the feeling of completion of using my time in a positive way. It’s a hopeful thing like there is more to come when I finish something. I like the excitement of it all the new idea. What I find interesting as I look at a lot of my art mixed in together I can see it as a whole. I can understand that maybe while I was creating something and almost threw it away because I was angry with it or thought it was a silly waste of time or thinking what does it matter in the long run. It’s part of the practice like yoga, meditation and self love you just have to do it. One thing leads to another. I bought myself a sketch book earlier this year and some pencils and it was fun.
I went to a mindful creativity retreat and I tried contemplative art of ink with a horse hair brush and I had a lot of fun with that. I got to bring the brush and bucket of ink with me. I affirmed that I liked it and if they where just going to throw it away I would be very pleased to take it. I was so excited. I made a date with myself to make some art a friend joined in and it was a lot of fun conversation is easier when we are sharing an activity. I enjoy the praise from others sure but I don’t really need it because I know when I like it that is enough for me. I get this sense of wow look at that I made that how cool. I am pretty good at it and I enjoy it. I love the sense of fearlessness and risk. Just to let go and do to be in the zone the energy is invigorating.
I went to a poetry writing workshop in the winter and that was fun creating art in groups and we had prompts to start creating our own poems by translating poems in languages we didn’t understand.
This week I will be making coasters out of scrabble letters as a fun little art date with myself.
I like arts that can be done anywhere it’s fun and free and if I am stuck well it’s a fun time no matter what. All I need is pencil and paper. In school I was given a job to create all the holiday decorations. I loved that I even had an assistant for a while who joined me during recess to make art with me. I made birthday cards for everyone in the class as well. I don’t remember how that came about. My mother and I used to host cookie parties for my class and one year we made a pinata.
A few years ago for Christmas when I was unemployed I decided to make a pinata for the family it was fun. And it was nice to be able to give what I could. We had lot’s of fun with it. Santa’s head that I made was really hard and just would not break so on boxing day my cousins and I shoot it with a potato gun. What a nice memory that was. I enjoy having a space for good memories.
In a few weeks there will be an improv tournament in my hometown so I am excited to go back and visit. I spend 10 year playing improv it was a lot of fun to making sketches with people. There has been been an improv scene where I live now for a while. I found the concepts of improv helped me understand concepts in mindfulness meditation.
Bringing the attention back to loving action over and over. At times I can get wrapped up in things that I do not really want to focus on. And it’s about bringing myself back to my priorities instead of other’s priorities or expectations.
I do like to try new things and there are a few opportunities for that this week. Kundalini and Bokathon yoga, a learn to row session, check out the sports hall of fame, there is a an art talk.
I got little things for the apartment last night and today I scheduled an appointment with the Dr. I haven’t seen one in a while.
Here are some quotes on self love