Took the night off to just be
making some space for myself
I got invited to go have super but I declined I wanted to gain some energy and take care of around the house like the dishes in the sink and cooking a meal. I have been out and about all week that I had put it off.
I went out to a fun party on Monday, Tuesday I decided to go play trivia for the last time final hourrah. I noticed how I had way more fun at the party I liked the energy more in myself there. Trivia I felt like I was seeking attention wanting to be right I didn`t like that it was too in my head. Plus I like to exercise, do creative things and meet new people so non of that was happening there. so I can let it go now. I like spending time alone to nourish myself better. I like to be centered and have my own direction that I set.
I was feeling agitated this week and that is a queue to slow down and listen to see what I need to pay attention so I can re-center myself I can get knocked of balance sometimes.
The time for happiness is now
I am happy I went to the gym and did yoga and lifted weights and to a dance class a friend of mine was so kind to offer me a drive to go workout together and try a new fitness dance class. We did some ab work before hand and I still feel it. I was feeling angry but I decided that I would put myself in a happy environment and eventually my mood shifted I dropped the anger. It`s my job to make myself feel good. I went out to socialize afterwards to go see a live band with friends and danced. People where saying that wearing sneakers when dancing hurts their knees because it sticks to the floor and you have to work harder.
Today I saw myself dancing on video. I decided to focus on what I liked. I liked the blues song I felt I did well. I liked it when I was relaxed. I liked that I got some feedback so I am more self aware now and know what I can work on to improve. I liked that I was hitting the breaks in the song pretty good musicality. I participated I had fun. I put myself out there I tried I was brave I went for the more challenging level.
This week I got off balance by not logging my food. I got wrapped up with other things and got distracted. I thought about what the dr said of only loosing 10% of my body fat per year and focusing the rest of the year on maintenance. I felt discouraged by that. I over ate and I have not been careful. I decided to re-frame this as testing my maintenance. I am ready to get back on track and start logging food again. I really want to let go of the weight for health reasons. I want to let it go for energetic and trans formative reasons. Watching the video of myself today I am motivate to loose more now. It is good for myself to be able to have a focus like that so I can center myself I can put my goal as a priority not let things get in the way. It is a way of putting myself first a way of managing stress of being assertive of setting boundaries of saying no.
I like how soothing this is I feel the open when I listen to it.