September feels like a change a pace people are going back to school and well for me I am just considering it as a new life semester. On Monday I went to a new contemporary dance class the people seemed nice and it’s nice dance too look at I didn’t like rolling our on the floor.
Yesterday I went to dodge-ball I had more fun. I like the sense of time and getting exercise in and being social. I like being active it feels good to test what is possible.
The other day I was feeling down I had a lot of negative thoughts so I started writing and it lead to tears I felt like I was having a fight with myself. I started thinking oh I need to hear good things I need to fix this relationship I have with myself now. I started writing what I appreciated and pointing out what I was happy about that I did lately. I started feeling a shift. I needed rest and so I meditated and freshened up and went out to try out the new dance class. It was an interesting experience like wow I never thought of it as having a fight with myself before and that I had the agency to intervene. My task here is to make me proud to tell myself what I appreciate about me to grow that love.
I love that I have been going to the gym consistently. I am proud that I am making great progress with weight lifting. Today I went out and got a purse that I needed since mine broke. I am glad I asserted myself at dodge ball asking if we could take out the yellow ball and use a darker one instead. I noticed sure I wasn’t good at throwing now but there where people there to encourage me and I am there to practice and with time I will get better. There was a person there who took the time to do catches with me and I got the ball more. It was wow I can do it I can do this. All I needed was the experience of success and the courage to try to keep going it’s so encouraging.
I had a craving for sweets but the bakery was closed so I did meditation instead and I realized that is what I need attention and one on one time with myself. It was a good feeling to let the craving past and to relax and sooth myself.