Self respect is the courage to walk away from things that do not add value to my life. For example I went out with a guy recently a few times I told him about a behavior he was doing that was bothering me. He stopped then started again. I told him again but it seems like he just kept doing it so I cut him loose. I can’t be around people that do not respect me by doing something that they know bothers me. It wasn’t a good match and that’s fine.
I started to cooking for myself again letting go of convenience foods that don’t serve my body. I can respect my bodies wishes for fresh veggies and whole foods. When I discover something that doesn’t agree with me even though I like it I can cut it out.
Freedom is the crux of self-respect. It is difficult to feel good about ourselves when we are unnaturally dependent on someone or something.
Consider, for example, lust versus love. When we lust after someone or something, we think in terms of what they (or it) can do for us. When we love, however, our thoughts are immersed in what we can give to someone else. Giving makes us feel good, so we do it happily. But when we lust, we only want to take. When someone we love is in pain, we feel pain. When someone whom we lust is in pain, we only think in terms of what that loss or inconvenience means to us.
DAVID J. LIEBERMAN, Find Out Who’s Normal and Who’s Not
The ego is concerned about image and status and what looks good. The body is concerned with what feels good and the soul is concerned with doing what is good. The more time I spend in the soul the less I am driven by the ego which is the opposite of confidence. I do not need to seek attention and validation and control from others.
When I am confident I know what is right and I have mastery over what I can control. I have power. I am uniquely me and can follow my path. I pay attention to myself I give myself what I need. I do what feels good both for my body and soul. When I focus on the task at hand and I focus on the value I want to bring. I do not have to worry about putting on a show I just deliver results.